Is it good for people to fail occasionally?
In our highly
competitive world, we prize success and hate it when things go wrong, but is
there actually a value in failing?
BBC
When
Irish author Flann O'Brien submitted the manuscript for his second book, The
Third Policeman, to a London publisher in 1940 it was rejected.
But
rather than admit this lack of success to his friends, he pretended the
manuscript had accidentally blown out of the boot of his car on a trip to
Donegal and had been lost forever.
"This
was a ruinous thing to say because he couldn't then turn around and say, 'Oh
I've found it again,' so the manuscript sat very openly on his sideboard until
his death," says Booker Prize-winning author Anne Enright. She has
selected O'Brien's story to appear in an exhibition entitled Fail Better at the
Science Gallery at Trinity College, Dublin.
"The
year after [O'Brien's] death, his wife got it published to a keen
reception."
If
O'Brien had been more open about his failure to get the book printed, he might
have seen his work published within his lifetime.
The aim
of the Science Gallery's exhibition is to encourage debate about the
informative aspects of failure and how it can encourage greater creativity in
all aspects of life.
We are
all scared of failing and having to admit errors or mistakes to our peers, and
this fear heightens as we grow towards adulthood, says Heather Hanbury,
headmistress of Wimbledon High School. In 2012 the private girls' school held a
"failure week" to teach its pupils how to become more resilient and
learn from their mistakes.
"You're
not born with fear of failure, it's not an instinct, it's something that grows
and develops in you as you get older. Very young children have no fear of
failure at all. They have great fun trying new things and learning very
fast," says Hanbury.
She
says fear of failure can be crippling as it stops us from taking risks. This
automatically cuts off new opportunities in life.
"Our
focus here is on failing well, on being good at failure. What I mean by this is
taking the risk and then learning from it if it doesn't work," says
Hanbury.
"There's
no point in failing and then dealing with it by pretending it didn't happen, or
blaming someone else, that would be a wasted opportunity to learn more about
yourself and perhaps to identify gaps in your skills, experiences or
qualifications. Once you've identified the learning you can then take action to
make a difference."
She
says a fear of failure often affects girls more than boys because girls are
"programmed" from a very young age by their parents to please adults.
"If
there's one thing I would say to parents of young children, particularly girls,
it would be, try very hard not to constantly show strong approval of daughters
doing lovely things to please you. Show approval when they throw off the
fetters and perhaps are a bit naughty," says Hanbury.
"This
is not only a danger at home, but it happens in school at a very young age as
well. So as the girls get older, they recognise that the way to keep adults
happy is to get things right, and getting things right means avoiding failure
at all costs."
Hanbury
says the quest for perfectionism is "the enemy of achievement" and
that the more we seek to get everything exactly right, the less we actually get
done.
Shedding
the stigma that is associated with failing can also open the door to greater
victories.
When
tennis player Andy Murray failed to beat Roger Federer in the Wimbledon final
in 2012 he broke down in tears, and the wait for a British Wimbledon champion
seemed ever more elusive. But some believe it freed him from the fear of
failure and Murray went on the following year to triumph against Novak
Djokovic, ending the 77-year wait for a British men's champion.
When
players fail in the sporting arena the public response can often be
unsympathetic - such as the reaction to England's crushing defeat by Australia
in the 2013-14 Ashes.
Author
and former professional cricketer Ed Smith played three test matches for
England, but admits to feeling a sense of personal pain that he did not fulfil
his original aspiration to play more than 50.
Smith
says failing can help "conquer a sense of entitlement", and relieve
the pressure we place on ourselves. The more practice we get at failing, the
more equipped we are to deal with it, says Smith.
"As
an experienced player I try to think about losing and then regaining form as
like putting the wheels back on a bike," says Smith. "The first time
is the hardest, you're not sure you'll ever get moving again, but once you've
experienced a few cycles of boom and bust, the dark days are less daunting.
Having watched the wheels fall off before, we are better equipped to put them
back on again."
He says
that off the playing field, failure can also encourage a greater sense of
empathy and understanding.
"If
the failure was our own fault we become more tolerant of human error, and if
the failure was the result of external factors, of circumstance - an unkind
coalition beyond our control - then we learn about the limits of willpower and
self-determination. We see how our own agency interacts with context and
fortune."
Learning
to embrace failure means we still have to be honest about the amount of effort
we put in to any venture.
Within
the business field, for example, the failure rate is high. Over 80% of start-up
businesses fail within the first five years. Stewart McTavish, director of
IdeaSpace in Cambridge - a community and support network for entrepreneurs -
says they encourage people to make a distinction between honest and dishonest
failure.
"If
your venture doesn't work out, but you did everything you could to make it a
success, that's what we call an honest failure, and that's seen as an
honourable thing," says McTavish.
"Whereas
if your venture didn't work out because you spent too much time at networking
events, you weren't doing your customer research and you were just lazing
around, then that's what we would call a dishonest failure."
If
failure can train us to be more courageous in life, we should also be just as
brave at recognising and shouting about success.
The
year after failure week, Wimbledon High School ran "blow your own
trumpet" week. As Hanbury explains, it is not only time to take the
"sting out of failure" but also the "embarrassment out of
pride."